Racist Jokes


What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
He heard boys' pants were half-off.

Who does Michael Jackson consider to be a Perfect "10"?
Two 5 year olds.

Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.

After his wife had a baby, Michael Jackson asked the doctor when it would be OK to have sex again.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid was at least 12 or 13 years old.

A priest and a rabbi were walking down the side walk. On the other side of the street they see a 12 year old boy. The priest says "Lets go fuck him." The rabbi looks for a minute and then says "Out of what?"

What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?
Gorillas In The Mist.

How does Santa Claus know he's at a Jewish house?
There is a parking meter on the roof.

What do you call a fag in a wheelchair?
Roll AIDS.

What do you throw a drowning nigger?
The rest of his family.

How do you blind a Chink?
You put a windshield in front of him.

Why did so few niggers vote for Jesse Jackson?
He promised them jobs.

Did you hear about the nigger who had a heart attack on Halloween?
Somebody came dressed as a job.

What do you call a French nigger?
Jacues Custodian.

How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

What do you call 5 niggers hanging from a tree?
A Mississippi wind chime.

Why did the nigger cross the road?
Who the fuck cares why is he out of the cotton field?

What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 niggers?

Do you know why flies have wings?
So they can get away from the niggers.

What's the difference between a pothole and a nigger?
You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?

Why don't niggers stick their heads out of moving vehicles?
Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.

What do you call a nigger hitchiker?

What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend breaks up with him?

What's the difference between nigger pussy and a bowling ball?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.

How do you get a nigger to commit suicide?
Toss a bucket of fried chicken into traffic.

What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15?

What's the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of nigger babies?
You can't unload watermelons with a pitchfork!

What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.

What qualifies as good behavior in a ghetto school?
Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.

What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant?

Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?
It's called "Shonuff."

Did you hear about the nigger and the Mexican who opened a restaurant?
It's called Nacho Mama.

What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.

What's the first thing taught in a ghetto driving school?
How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.

Hear about the new perfume for nigger women?
It's called "Eau de doo dah day."

What is white and has a black asshole?
The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.

Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach niggers to walk on their hind legs.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
Canoes tip.

What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women?
An inmate.

When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger?
When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.

What do you call a nigger having sex?

Why don't niggers have check books?
They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.

How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten.

A man goes into a shop and sees 3 jars on a table. The first jar says "Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint". The second says "Asian Brains, $10.00 a pint", and the third says " Nigger Brains, $100.00 a pint."
"Hey, why are these nigger brains $100 bucks a pint?" asked the man.
The shop owner replied, "You know how many niggers you have to kill to get a whole pint of brains?"


A young nigger walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The nigger said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"


A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."